The Informal Matriarchs

posted by Leah.

How is it that I always have so many blogging ideas when I’m NOT blogging????

Okay so you know now in BC it’s illegal for anyone to use a handheld device in the car…aka no cellphones.  No touching your cellphone no looking at your cellphone.  NOTHING.

So I went and purchased myself one of those dorky blue tooths (in pink) so I would still be able to make important phone calls whilst driving.

**Side note.  It’s not cool to wear your bluetooth around with you…seriously uncool.  Don’t do it, and if you are…stop it.  Dork.

Anyway, my driving track record is seamless.  I am a good driver.  I’ve had one instance of poor driving in my life and I was merging and checking my blind spot when the guy in front of me abruptly stopped and…I was still blind spotting.  Luckily no damage done to his massive truck…and my new bumper was…well…good and damaged.

So here I am driving back from preschool last week.  I have this bluetooth in my ear.  You have to have conversations with these dumb things.  This is how mine went.

BT – please say a command

Me – call Brent

BT – did you say call Jennie?

Me – no

BT – did you say call home?

Me – no

BT – phone number not available…please try again.

then I press the button again

BT – beep beep

press it again…

BT- beep

turn it off and on then press button

BT – beep

press

BR – beep beep

I give up…so now I’m furious at this dumb thing.  I can’t call my husband and i want to and I’m driving along and notice someone’s making a left hand turn rather close to me…and then the next guy is making his left hand turn RIGHT in front of me.  I BLAST my horn and look up to realize it’s me making the mistake as I slam on my brakes and come to a screeching halt.

The left hand turner looks at me….smoke billows up from my tires.  I sheepishly put my car in reverse and backup to the stop line…saying sorry over and over and over again.  He makes his turn.

I drive home cursing myself, heart racing.  How could I not see a red light?? Oh, I know why!!  I was blinded by FURY because this supposedly SAFE hands free device is a piece of crap!!  That’s why!!

The world would would be safer if they just let me talk and text while driving, seriously.

Posted by Leah.

I finally got my act together and got Silas in to see a DAN doctor.  DAN stands for defeat autism now.  They’re a group of doctors who use alternative medicine to help relieve the symptoms of autism.  Sometimes these methods work so well that you can’t even tell the child has autism anymore and sometimes they don’t work at all.  In my mind, you just gotta try.

So off we went to the DAN, excited to see what he had to say.  He was very very nice.  He wanted to try the exact same things I wanted to try first.  Mb12 shots and hyperbaric chamber treatments.  Woot.  So he showed us how to give Silas an injection and he sent us home.

Wow, is it ever hard to give your child an injection…without it hurting…without it traumatizing yourself.  I haven’t been able to make it not hurt, despite the dr saying that it shouldn’t hurt.  Despite following all directions to a T.  We’ll try again while he sleeps tonight, hopefully I’ll get it right this time.  Yikes.

I’ve seen changes in my wee little lad though, positive ones.  Ones that show that these shots are indeed working so we must continue giving them to him. Yaaaay.  And…yikes.

His pretend play has gotten WAY better since starting treatment.  He’s spending way more time in his imagination, where he should be at this age!!  His language is also getting better.  I can see him thinking about his sentences more, focusing on trying to get out what he really wants to say instead of just giving me a sentence that could be interpreted any way.  It’s cool.

Yesterday Silas’ teacher told me he was starting to get ahead of some of his classmates, speech wise

I’ve also been taking the shots, I can feel the difference about 30 minutes after I take it.  I just feel….goood.  I like it.  Yummy.

Anyway, I’m rather sick….I’m rather sleepy as well.  I’m going to spoon my doggy and watch Dr. Oz.

I could have sworn I’ve blogged about this before…but I guess I haven’t.

I was on a mission to get a tattoo on my inner right arm that would remind me of Silas, his autism and the fight for it.  Googling autism tattoos wasn’t effective.  I didn’t like any of them.  I don’t like multi-coloured puzzle pieces…they just weren’t pretty.  Not me, at all.

So I move along in my quest and finally decided to figure out what Silas’ birth flower was.  A Chrysanthemum.  The meaning written stood out:” The bright butter yellow glow of the chrysanthemum brings joy, light, and cheer to the dwindling days of November. Chosen because of the cheer and joy November birthdays bring throughout the year, the chrysanthemum’s color and perseverance are a beacon of happiness.” (http://www.flower-choice.com/birthflowers.asp)

Beacon of happiness.  That’s so Silas.  He lights up a room when he walks in…he’s everything…yellow.

I looked up chrysanthemum tattoos and decided I hated them.  They’re popular in Japanese tattooing and again…not my style.  While searching for tattoo ideas I happened upon this site.  I love love love the meanings I read there.  Things like “As an herb, it was believed to have the power of life.”  or “”If you would be happy for a lifetime, grow Chrysanthemums,” says one ancient Chinese philosopher.”  I also read somewhere that they unfold in a really specific way to reveal a very perfect looking blossom.  We’re unfolding Silas in a very specific and organized way.

Perfect.

Now how do I get a chrysanthemum tattoo that I like?  I searched high and low and finally found it.  Last Saturday I got it.

I added the puzzle piece to symbolize the autism.  The artist did a very good job.  He knew it was a special tattoo to me and he took great care in making it nice.

I know not all my readers agree with tattoos or think they’re appropriate but I see it very differently.  When I see a well done tattoo on a woman I think it’s completely beautiful.  I actually think the good ones look classy and…believe it or not…sexy.  I love them on men too.  I just absolutely love them.  Not to be rebellious, but just think they are beautiful and that’s all.  They’re like a piece of a certain era of your life, something to remember, something to inspire you daily, something that’s beautiful. Tattoos have come a long way.  Once a symbol of rebellion, now a symbol of beauty, individuality, expression, sexuality,  religion, etc.  The tattoo is something much much more.  In America at least.  There are many cultures that have them as just a part of their culture and it’s been that way for hundreds of years.

So, I love my new tattoo.  It’s so special to me.  It’s Silas on my arm, reminding me all the time that there’s so much beauty in my son.  My son who scratched the skin off my mouth today, pulled my hair and hit me numerous times.  There’s a reason I’m fighting for him.  He is light, he is sunshine, he is perfection…he’s just in a world that doesn’t understand him and he doesn’t fully understand.  But we’re helping him unfold.

Posted by Jennie C.

My big, little brother bought Girl vs11¹ a most wondrous gift at Christmas:  Sea-Monkeys!!!!  SO VERY VERY VERY EXCITING.  OK, I was definitely more enthusiastic about them than she was; I’m not even sure if she knew what they were.  But “Raising Sea-Monkeys” has been on my bucket list² since I was around 12 years old.  I’d forgotten it was on my bucket list until I saw those magical two words printed brightly on the energetically decorated box in Girl vs11‘s hands.  I trembled.

For those of you who aren’t in the know, Sea-Monkeys “are a variant of brine shrimp or Artemia salina, a species which enters cryptobiosis, a natural state of suspended animation, allowing their cysts (dormant saclike embryos) to be sold as a dry powder. When the powder is poured into water, live shrimp appear within hours, and can grow up to an adult length of 2 centimeters within one year.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea-Monkeys – Retrieved 2010-01-28)  Talk about rabbit trails, I just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to properly credit Wikipidia for this quote and got sidetracked learning about the Common Chiffchaff and really didn’t actually figure out the proper referencing technique, but I’m sure you get the idea…

Sea-Monkey advertisements were prominent in the Archie comics of my childhood.  Archie comics were prominent in my childhood because of the phenomenon known by the locals as “the dump”.  I’m not sure I’m going to have time to even tell you about “the dump” – but it’s a good bit of childhood history and will certainly be featured on this blog at some point.

Following the Christmas holidays, Girl vs11 and I carefully filled the tank with purified water, added the contents of packet #1, waited two days, added the contents of packet #2, and then watched and waited and watched and waited.  I carefully supervised every step and we followed the instructions precisely and perfectly and indisputably right, because I had to make these li’l creatures live; I wanted to witness instant life; I needed all my dreams to come true!

Sea-Monkeys in their Magic Castle

We chose the dining room table as the optimal place for our new friends to live.  It had the right combination of light and temperature.  It was a visible enough location that they wouldn’t be neglected.  Plus I was visualizing that their lively antics would distract the kiddos from the heaps of broccoli on their plates.

The wait was agonizing; the calendar was consulted several times a day; the anticipated moment finally arrived.

“There’s something moving!” I screamed!

“Uh, Mom, inside voice?” reminded Girl vs11.  (The veracity of this story may be beginning to suffer – I’ve been interrupted about 47 times and I’m losing patience with historical accuracy.)

We all took turns squinting at the two or three animated specks, willing them to breathe, eat, and grow.  I begged Girl vs11 to let me have one.  She wondered how I was going to tell it apart from the others.

“Oh, I’ll be able to recognize Squishy,” I assured and pleaded.

She reluctantly (and somewhat suspiciously) agreed.  I authoritatively pointed out Squishy whenever we were admiring the growing colony.  She nodded indulgently.

And then they all died.

I was devastated.  But I’m a Mum after all … and an adult … and apparently somewhat mature.  Which means I must appear stoic when the grim reaper of the brine shrimp world comes calling.  I’d also done my research and I encouraged Girl vs 11 to have faith.  More could hatch.

And they did!  And I didn’t even scream the second time around; I used my inside voice.

The colony is now flourishing!  And I’ve convinced Girl vs11 that Squishy actually survived from the first batch and that’s why he’s the biggest one in there and she believed me and I still have MY VERY OWN Sea-Monkey!

The photo to the right is the tank in it’s entirety.  Isn’t it wonderful?  Did you notice the turrets?

The photo below is a close up.  Squishy is the big one, of course.  Isn’t he sweet?

Squishy and His Friends

Three cheers for a shrinking bucket list!  Thank you Uncle Andy!

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¹ If you recall, Girl vs11 is the privacy induced code name for my 11 year old daughter.  I didn’t recall and had to look it up on the Jennie page.

² A “bucket list” is a list of things that one wants to do in life before they “kick the bucket”.  I have to explain these things because my ancient old Grandparents are probably the only people that read this blog and I’m never too sure if they’re up-to-date with the modern things we hip youngsters say.  I like to be considerate that way.

Posted by Leah.

I just finished a book called A Child’s Journey Out of Autism by Leeann Whiffen.  It was a great book, depressing in the beginning…and slightly depressing in the end because he started off worse than Silas..way worse…then ended up better than where Silas is at this age…but oh well.  We’ll get there.  They started intervention at two years old.

Anyway, she has this great way of explaining things and I wanted to share a few things with you.  I wish I had thought to highlight everything great I saw…but I didn’t.

oooo just wait…Silas said something funny just now.

he he he he he.

ANYWAY

here’s a quote I love.

“We see glimpses of progress-some big, some small.  Sometimes we never see it again.  Other times it becomes part of his progression.  It is like a piece of gold in the water.  When the sun is positioned just right, it catches the metallic color and glistens so that we can see it.  Otherwise, it looks like just another rock on the bottom of the riverbed.”

That’s the perfect way of explaining the progress of autism.  I remember feeling that, a year ago, when life was hell for us.  He had hardly any language and then out of the blue it’s like the sun would catch the glimmer and he’d do something profound only to go back into the world of autism moments later.  

As I was finishing the book I came across this quote which made me slap my hand over my mouth, giggle, then cry my eyes out.

“‘Clay you’re my star.” I emphasize every word.  I feel my throat close off.  He continues looking at me in the eyes.  ”mom you are my triangle’”

Silas and I had that EXACT same moment about a year or so ago.  I said to him “Silas I love you with all of my heart” and then he said “I love you with all of my circle”.  He had no clue what we were talking about, he thought we were talking shapes, but you know what?  I’ll take it.  I laughed my face off and I still do every time he says that.  He can love me with all of his whatever-the-heck-he-wants.  

I haven’t wanted to talk about autism much on here and I don’t know why.  I guess I feel like no one wants to hear about it…but I’ve decided I don’t care…this is where I journal my life and so this is where I need to write about it.  

Perhaps I’ll be like Leeann Whiffen and write my own autism book one day.

Posted by Leah

No one wants to hear that their kid is average.  They want to hear the big words like “better, best, greatest, most bestest ever”.  But hearing this word on Monday COMPLETELY rocked my world.

Almost a year ago my son Silas was diagnosed with autism.   The doctor used words like “retarded”, and “non verbal” when it came to speech.  A grim diagnosis, perhaps one that would make one lose hope.

I remember the speech therapist trying to assess him.  She had numbers on her little pictures and all he wanted to do was look at them instead of looking at the pictures and answering her questions.  He quickly grew frustrated, ran to the opposite side of the room and began smashing his head on the wall.  Through sad eyes she said it’s impossible to finish her assessment but she’s sure he’s showing autistic like tendencies and his speech isn’t where it should be, from what she could hear.

Six months later I took my Silas back to the same women, seeking help for his speech.  I was tired of waiting for the government issued person to call and I had some money set aside for him.  She was able to do a speech assessment this time which is already an improvement.

On Monday I got the report!  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Sentence structure – mild delay

Word structure – average

Expressive Vocabulary – moderate delay

Concepts and Following Directions – average

Recalling Sentences – average

Basic Concepts – ABOVE AVERAGE!

Yes, my little boy who, 6 months prior, had been deemed “retarded” in speech is now more average than delayed.  It’s been another 4 months since that assessment…I wonder where he is now?  I just know his sentences are getting longer, more abstract, more conversational, more complex and more imaginative.  Gosh, it was just this summer when he first addressed me as “Mommy”.  It was just this summer where he started asking for things properly as opposed to echoing.  It was just this fall where he talked back to me the first time and my heart did a backflip and a little cheer.  It was just a few weeks ago where he said “mommy, my oatmeal needs to go back into the freezer because it’s still too hot”.

I’ve never had no hope for Silas.  I’ve never thought he’d not lose his autism diagnosis one day.  He’s going to.  It’s not like I even have to hope for it, I know this so deep within my core that it’s something much more than hope.  It’s happening.

These test scores just go to show what an amazing little boy I have the privilege of mothering.  He’s becoming average and you know, that’s ok with me.

Yes I’ve been missing…hibernating…sulking in the darkness.

I had so much fun over Christmas and then, upon getting home, the inevitable sets in and I’m in the post Christmas blues.  Normal day to day life feels awkward and weird, pondering why on earth I do life this way.  Sulking about not having my mommy to help me (and Jennie’s entire clan and Juliet and Mark and Jilly and Cornelius) out anymore.

So that’s where I’ve been…yes please call me the wambulance…I need to whine some more.

While on the subject of whining.  MY BUM BUM HURRRRRTTTSSSS

I had a great idea over Christmas to go snowboarding with Brent.  I haven’t gone for like eight years, I had gone about 6 times my first year of college and I had learned to carve and I just loved it soooo much.  So snowboarding we went.

I forgot that snowboarding actually required muscles…and a body that’s in relatively good shape…

We got to the top of the hill and my body had forgotten how to carve.  It took me about twenty minutes to get into the swing of things again.  I landed on my bum sooooo many times and it was fine but then near the end I landed on such an angle, and on such hard snow that it took my breath away.

Being as competative as I am, I couldn’t let Brent see my weakness.  I don’t like being someone who’d give up, I don’t like being a party pooper and I don’t like looking stupid.  So up I stood to try again and again and soon I was carving in the snow…too fast but I was too prideful to not keep up to my husband, who, never had a problem remembering how to carve…at all.

It wasn’t even close to being the best snowboarding day of my life.  My boots hurt me to the point where i wanted to cry by the bottom of the hill…too tight.  So I had to fix that and then once i had good boots and I was able to carve and enjoy the hill…well…my legs were killing me.  Ya…that whole in shape thing.

It was still fun though.  I was proud of myself for being stubborn enough to just go for it despite the fact that I was terrified…I HAD to keep up to my husband.  It’s because I have an older brother that I had to keep up with so he’d think I was still cool.  

So now my bum hurts, a lot.  It’s been like two weeks since I fell and it hurts pretty much the same now as it did the day I hurt it.  I hate tail bone injuries.  They last FOREVER!!!  So I’m going to whine about my my bum for the next few years and you just gotta take it okay?

Today is just a grumpy day.  Silas is grumpy, he’s beating on me.  Grumpy grumpy grump grump.

The end.